-~-*-As taken from my myspace blog-*-~-
The other night I was thinking about the end of my life - whether I was thinking about the far away future or a more immediate concern is neither here nor there.
I have never felt like I was in danger of dying. Ever. I thought life would always continue on and that I would be conscious of it forever. Thinking about the obvious, it shocked me out of that state of mind...
For someone like me who is Agnostic the idea of the end is a massive blank. A void where your lifeless body is the only thing left of you. Your consciousness will be extinguished. You will remember no more, you will think no more and you will certainly not experience anymore. That's it. Poof. You are gone forever. Thinking about this... about no longer existing... drove an overwhelming fear of death deep into me. I was gripped by it, a sort of horrible and cold feeling. This was fear, real fear.
Recovering from this sudden epiphany of life's eventuality I managed to get some sleep. Today, I am struggling to learn from what I experienced. I have to live for something... I have to get out of here. I have to make use of this time I have...